Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
