return my video game
I'm so fucking centered right now
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Randomize
