Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize