is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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