There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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