Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
she was so not down for the gang bang
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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