I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
