i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
