He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
