Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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