you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
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