there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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