I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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