just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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