the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
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Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
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My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Congratulations! We have a period
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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