let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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