just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
