Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I showed him my bush... on skype.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
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Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
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If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.