everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.