Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
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ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
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Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!