I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
