make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
