I'm drive I can fine osifer
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
