they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
