Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
