i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
