you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize