The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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