Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
dude. I can hear the air.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
