I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
