is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
