I love black thongs
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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