I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
