am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
