Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
