I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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