just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
