Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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