Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize