OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
