I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize