1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Girls should come with a carfax report
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
