This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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