Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
COCAINE IS GR8
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
