hell yes lets make some ravioli
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
