Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
