how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
