Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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