It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
