JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Randomize
