YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize