do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
