My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I am one with the molecules
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
