watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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