i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
