just come out here and I will go home with you...
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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