the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
