ya dads aren't the best wingmen
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
