flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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