She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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