you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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