that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
