I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
