i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize