So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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