Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
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