Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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