dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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