I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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