took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
