is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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