They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Someone stole a lamp last night.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
